At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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