Your dad touched me again.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
