the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i think i just lost a toe
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
