did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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