Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We're too hungover to prance.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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