so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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