Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
