i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
