You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
