you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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