Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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