Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
