i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
