There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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