Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
