Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
So. Much. Porn.
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