hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
