Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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