One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
