We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
