hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize