This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
