we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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