I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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