I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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