so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
