At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
