she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
