after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
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