Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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