Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
