I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
