Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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