I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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