Cold hands, warm shart.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
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