North Korea, Best Korea!
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize