First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just google imaged poop.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
time to smoke my breakfast
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
