where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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