She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
