You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
