Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
