dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
