does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
