So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
