mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
