Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize