do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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