I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
