We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So squirting runs in the family.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My life is pants optional.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
