My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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