Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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