I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
