Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
