he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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