I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
