Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
