he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I want to be your penis for a week.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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