Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
