Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
