Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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