I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize