She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
