I think scott just propositioned me for sex
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
