Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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