I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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