Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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