Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
