so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
