Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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