and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
