As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
