u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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