he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
