hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
