I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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