Do vagina's smell?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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