I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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